the power of NO: why every YES has a cost
- Ronja Hübscher
- Mar 15
- 3 min read
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When was the last time you said yes to an opportunity or to someone when you really, truly meant to say no? Was it today? Yesterday? I bet it was sometime this month at least—because we, as people, like community. We like to be seen, heard, and understood. We don’t like to disappoint others. And this is coming from a recovered people-pleaser, by the way, so I say this with love, not judgment.
But what were you sacrificing?
Think about the last time you said yes when you wanted to say no. Were you giving up your time, your energy, your sleep? Maybe it was something that seemed exciting but ended up costing you more than it gave you. Every yes comes at a price. So, in this episode, I want to help you recognize when to say no more often—and mean it.
When to Say No More Often
1. When Your Time Is at Stake
You only have 24 hours in a day, and you can’t create more. That’s what makes time so valuable—so why wouldn’t you protect it? Saying yes to one thing means saying no to focus, rest, better opportunities, or even sleep. Overcommitting to projects, endless meetings, or social plans that don’t energize you drains your resources. Instead of giving away your time for nothing in return, consider where your time has the greatest impact.
2. When It Doesn’t Align with Your Goals
Just because you can say yes doesn’t mean you should. If an opportunity isn’t moving you toward your goals, it’s holding you back. For example, I recently met someone at an entrepreneur event in London. We had a great conversation, and there was potential for friendship. But our goals weren’t aligned, and I knew I only have so much time to dedicate to the right people. So, I said no—not because they were a bad person, but because they weren’t the right person for me at this time in my life. Always ask: Does this support my bigger vision?
3. When It Affects Your Health
If you’re saying yes to everything, you might be saying no to your health. Working late, skipping sleep, running on empty—it all catches up. I spent my twenties juggling three jobs, studying, and participating in extracurriculars, running on four to five hours of sleep a night. Sure, I saved money and traveled, but my health took a massive hit. Don’t wait until burnout forces you to stop. Say yes to your health now.
4. When It Hurts Your Relationships
Saying yes to the wrong people means saying no to the right ones. Over time, saying yes out of guilt or obligation leads to resentment. Instead of agreeing to plans you don’t enjoy, be honest. Respecting your own boundaries actually strengthens relationships—because you’re showing up authentically rather than out of obligation.
5. When You Need to Say Yes to Yourself
Every no creates space for a yes—to your creativity, your personal growth, your happiness. Maybe you want to get back into painting or launch a project you’ve been putting off. But every unnecessary yes steals time from what you truly want. Protect that space.
6. When You Need Room for Better Opportunities
If your plate is full, you can’t take on anything new—even if it’s the best opportunity of your life. Always leave space for something great to come along. This doesn’t mean saying no to everything, but it does mean being strategic about where you invest your time and energy.
How to Say No Without Guilt
Be direct but kind. Don’t leave the door open if you don’t mean to. Instead of “I’m busy tonight,” say, “I’m not really into going out for drinks after work.”
Offer an alternative if you want to. If a project or invite doesn’t fit now, suggest something that works better for you.
Respect your own boundaries. You don’t owe anyone an over-explanation. Simply saying “I can’t commit to that” is enough.
Final Thoughts
Saying no isn’t selfish—it’s essential. Every yes has a cost, so make sure you’re investing your time and energy wisely. Next time you’re faced with an invitation or opportunity, ask yourself: What am I sacrificing? If the answer doesn’t align with your values, your goals, or your well-being, say no. And mean it.
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