undoing the conditioning that pulls you back every time
- Ronja Hübscher
- 4 days ago
- 5 min read
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In this week's episode of The Foreign Accent Stamp, we’re talking about deep conditioning — the invisible force that keeps pulling you back every time you try to change. By the end of this, you’ll see why surface fixes simply aren’t enough, and what it really takes to snap out of old patterns — whether that’s in your speech, your mindset, your actions, or your everyday life.
The Illusion of Quick Fixes
Maybe you know someone (or you are someone) who’s always on the lookout for a shortcut:“How can I stop being nervous when I speak?”, “How can I change my accent in three days?”, “How can I sound more confident on the phone… right now?”
We’re made to believe these quick fixes exist. But let’s be honest — real, lasting change takes time.
Have you ever heard someone say,“I’m just not a public speaker. I get nervous, so I’m clearly not built for this.” or “I can’t talk on the phone, I panic. That’s just who I am.”
It’s the same with accents. It’s the same with any habit. And often, these habits aren’t even ours to begin with — they’re instilled in us by family, friends, our environment, society.
Recognizing the Conditioning
It takes a lot just to realize: Wait — it doesn’t have to be this way. Just because you’ve always done something doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it. Just because someone says “you’re not good at this” doesn’t mean it applies to you. Just because the thought of speaking up makes you nauseous doesn’t mean you can’t do it.
Let me give you a real-life example. It might make you smile, but it shows just how deep this stuff runs. Recently, I realized I’ve spent most of my life feeling like I’m in a hurry. Even when I wasn’t actually rushing, my body felt like it was. And it showed up everywhere — even on a simple walk to my local weekly market here in the UK.
Now, you might wonder, “What does this have to do with speaking or accents?” But I promise — whatever habit you’re struggling with, you can translate this story into your own life.
The Season of Sacrifice - The Season of Change
I moved to the UK four and a half years ago. One of my goals was to slow down. I didn’t want to live at 180 miles an hour anymore, like I did back in Switzerland. Right now, I’m in what I call a season of sacrifice. I’m making big changes, focusing on growing my business and serving people at a higher level. I’m not traveling. I’m not socializing as much. I’m pouring my energy into my long-term goals.
But even in this slower season, the old conditioning lingers. I noticed it most when I walked to the market. I wanted to enjoy the flowers, the weather, the fresh bread — but every time, my body went into rush mode. It sounds silly, right? “Just slow down, Ronja.” But no matter how much I told myself to walk slowly, my body had other plans.
Now I didn't make it a priority to work on this for the the full four and a half years. Every so often, it popped into my head and I thought I should probably start to consciously work on this. So I did a few weeks ago. Every trip to the market felt rushed. Even on sunny days. Even when I had nowhere else to be. Because for as long as I can remember, I was always in a hurry — juggling three jobs, university, board commitments. Working and studying in Zurich, where walking slowly feels like a crime. This was my conditioning: If you’re not in a hurry, you’re wasting time.
But last Saturday, something shifted. For the first time, I walked to the market slowly. Not only that — I actually enjoyed it! I stopped at the jewelry store — twice. (If you know me, you know jewelry is my weakness!) I spent a good five minutes looking, not rushing. I noticed the cafes, the signs, the colors. I took it all in. And you know what? I was so proud of myself.
Why This Matters for Your Change
I know this is a small example. But the principle is huge: Conditioning runs deep. And it takes more than logic to undo it. You can’t just tell yourself “don’t be nervous,” “speak clearly,” or “walk slowly.” You have to rewire your body, your habits, your nervous system — over and over again, until the new pattern sticks.
For me, this slow walk wasn’t unconscious competence yet — but it was a step up. I went from conscious incompetence (knowing I was failing to slow down) to conscious competence (finally doing it, with effort). And that’s how real change works. Whether you’re working on your speech, your mindset, your confidence, or simply the pace of your life. It’s not about fixing it in three days. It’s about showing up again and again — until one day, you realize: I’m doing it differently now.
Your Turn
So, let me ask you: what’s your version of my rushed walk? Where is old conditioning pulling you back — in your speech, your career, your daily habits? If you’re ready to start rewiring that at a deeper level, especially in the way you speak and show up, I’d love to help you. Explore my programs like The Accent Reset or Accent Hour — designed to go beyond surface fixes and create real, lasting change. Because your change is possible. And it starts with the first, conscious step.
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